<xmp> <body> </xmp> The Witch, The Tooth, And The Dragon

Unfortunate Happenings

~Dots And *Appellations~
(*the giving of a name to something or someone)

Legs, claw-paws and molar nubs (having become stiff with sitting too long in one place) started tingling, the blood moving freely again as the three finished their seated chat. Hooblinka, Scat and Feebles got up from where they'd been sitting for over an hour and began walking, while Feebles launched into another story. The story of 'the DOTS'.

"You may ask yourself, how does one become so unlucky as to have two important parts of their early life go so VERY WRONG, " he said. "I don't know the answer but I suspect now, having met you two-- it was to teach me some kind of lesson more important than the bad luck itself."

"This silly looking dragon is wiser than he looks," thought Hooblinka. (Hoobie, no bigger than a tiny child shrunk down, may have begun as a smoking boll of pine tar but her soul was ancient, and she possessed great wisdom.) Feebles continued.

"Having become a repeat flower-burper, my parents thought perhaps a GOOD STRONG NAME might help me along in life, so I was named after three ancestors. Theophilus, a great-great uncle. Frankenhouse, a third-cousin by marriage, who had signed the Declaration of Independence and Lumpenrump, my father's adopted uncle, who had known great fame for having walked around the world three times, backwards."

Tooth could not contain himself, so outlandish were Feebles' newest pronouncements, he exploded, "POPPYCOCK!"

"First of all, all the signers of the United States Declaration of Independence are KNOWN," he spat out, "because their NAMES are written at the bottom-- and nowhere is there a FRANKENHOUSE to be found! Secondly, NO ONE has ever walked around the world three times backwards, and last of all...............what did Theophilus do?"

"Invented the chair leg," answered Feebles.

Hoobie snickered and Scat rolled his eyes like pinballs. "That's so far-fetched, you have to be kidding!" he added. "Why is a chair leg so important?"

"Because," Feebles continued, "it keeps your rump up off the ground while you're eating, so ants don't CONSUME your entire lunch!"

He said this with great dignity and saw no humor at all, though Hoobie and Tooth were hee-hawing merrily.

"As to the signing of the Declaration, don't forget....we live in the corner of the eye, our whole world could fit onto a pinhead so YES, Frankenhouse's signature is there: it's in the loop of the 'E' in 'Benjamin Franklin'. Frankenhouse happened to be living in Franklin's left eye at the time and was so overcome with emotion at that moment, he LEAPT OUT, ran across the parchment and signed quick as you please-- then crawled back up Ben's arm and right back into the eye, no one the wiser. Franklin thought it was an itch."

"As for Lumpenrump, he was a dragon couldn't bear to see where he was going. The old boy was just frightened of everything, so he lived and walked his entire life turned 'round because stopping and really looking scared him so badly, he kept on the move and before you know it, he'd circled the globe three times."

"Now whether you think that was an actual achievement, or just one frightened dragon's answer to his fears, you must admit it was an astonishing thing to do, nevertheless."

Neither Hooblinka nor Scat could find any argument with that-- they were simply dumbfounded by the kind of stuff that was pouring out of Feebles' mouth, so the dragon went on, "Even with a name as IMPORTANT-SOUNDING as my own, I could not overcome my embarrassment at having no fire, no roar-- and I knew I could never get beyond those flowers likely to shoot out of me at any moment, so I packed up a dragon-duffle and headed down the road, away from all I had known. I was different. I knew it."

"It was then my misfortune to cross through a wood where a pixie was practicing her magic. She was in the midst of her "As One, Is One" spell, which DUPLICATED everything she waved at... twinkly dust all around us... and she happened to spy me walking very close to some tiger lilys dotted with speckles and glowing orange in the sun. One whisk of her wand... and I was DOTTED! I cast about in desperation to find SOMETHING, ANYTHING of solid color, but I happened to glance across into a pasture at a cow. A Holstein... covered in spots. I extended my paw, trying to shoo it away, but it was too late."

"There she stood on a toadstool, waving that thing and giggling. I'd look at the cow... the new green spring grass, the cow.... and I kept changing from black spots to green... green to black, back and forth, until the pixie got bored and just left me this way. Green-spotted. Forever. Polka-dotted, as you two are so fond of saying."

"You just never know, Scat," Hoobie said, "what you're going to run into or why."

Satisfied that even if the story wasn't 100 percent true, it was grand tale and they loved it. They both hugged Feebles, patting him and making him feel wanted and appreciated.

The three looked up at the sky, and oh my goodness......


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